Saturday, June 23, 2012

Review, NOT! Snow White and the Huntsman

Firstly, madness! Kristen Stewart is Snow White? The fairest of them all? Supposedly hotter than Charlize Theron? Which retard did the casting? Some lady called Lucy Bevan it seems.

So nevermind the obvious casting disaster. This movie was supposed to offer a dark take on the famous fairy tale that inspired it. By fairest blood it was done, and only by fairest blood...and a bit of rutted acting, some problematic pacing and a pinch of confused script...can it be undone.

Each time the word "fair" was mentioned in the film, one can't help but to wonder on which planet is Kristen Stewart supposed to be hotter than Charlize Theron? Rupert Sanders effortlessly manages to waste a lifetime opportunity to deliver a definitive Snow White for the 21st century audience in contemporary cinematic experience. Nevermind the missing classical scene of preparing the poison apple or the prince's kiss that resurrected Snow White.

Some parts of the movie looked stunning, entrancing and enchanting with its highly design-driven production but there is no heart in this latest remake of the Grimm Brother's story. That was why Queen Ravenna needed Snow White's heart!

Other parts of the movie were draggy, corny in some parts, and pointless in others. It felt like the film crew was just shoehorning the Snow White elements in and almost seemed as if the movie got its cue from Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones. If only it were as epic as the former or as insanely incestful as the latter. Speaking of which, did anyone noticed the White Tree of Gondor sigil on her shield? Why on Middle Earth is it there?

But the movie isn't all that bad. The plants, especially the one-eyed mushrooms and of course the fairies were all delightful and pleasing to the eyes. Almost seemed like you're journeying through the insanely rich and exotic wilderness of Pandora from Avatar. There is even enough animal relief in the show to make you wanna start singing "hi ho, hi ho".

One could swear that strong hints of Joan of Arc were also evident in Snow White, considering the fact she was reciting the Lord's Prayer. But if that were the case, no one could swear upon it then supposedly!

Kristen Stewart totally ruined the movie for most people. There is no way she can be accepted as the fairest of them all. Not when she's standing next to Charlize Theron. The goddess Charlize "hot even when covered in milk" Theron!

Ultimately, one could probably chanced that Kristen Stewart is perhaps THE fairest of them all. Because maybe she is obviously fair. As in really skin pale fair. Instead of Snow White, she should have been casted as a snowman...or snowoman, whatever.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Flipping Coins

It is inevitable that no matter how hard the most of us and the best of us try to keep things in our life as simple as possible, we all end up making it complicated for ourselves most of the time. Yes, the most of us...and the best of us.

It has always been easier said than done, such is the order of human's divine nature. Such has always been the inner struggle we all contend ourselves with throughout our existence...

The eternal internal conflict where realisable reality meets inherent impossibility.

It is this very idea that has enabled us to tread forward with hope, shedding away our shell of doubtful credence and donning the cloak of steadfast constancy.

Sometimes we sell ourselves short of other people's expectations. Rarely do we sell ourselves short of our own expectations. But when that happens, it is a sign that we have become too hard on ourselves.

It is like the stifled ricocheting of fallen autumn leaves bouncing off from car to car. No matter how fast or hard a car drives and hits the fallen leaves, they are never crushed. Always darting and bouncing off harmlessly, effortless and lightless. Its movements in a blur of all its natural majestic splendour, but always true and sure. Swaying in its relentless evasion of the vehicular onslaught, never having a constant path in the air, but always having a perpetual destination...that is to settle aground in every realisable reality.

Is this why then that we make the inherently impossible decisions in the pursuit of simplifying our self expectations?

Because if it is hope that has accompanied us forward from our conflicts, then the autumn leaves are exactly like the decisions we make in life. The cars being the people who drives us, expects from us and where we sometimes have to accomodate and compromise with them.

So if we ever doubt our decisions, if we ever think life is complicated, be rest assured that these things that happen may not have a constant path but the final destination is always in sight.

It never is easy when hard decisions are on the table. But it's never complicated to make them in the beginning.

When you have to make a hard decision, what do you do? You flip a coin. Why? Because when that coin is in the air, at the cusp of its realisable trajectory, just before the very crux of its inherent fall, you suddenly know what you are hoping for.