This is about how You
drew me a watermark of my capacity to contain the forgiveness that was never
mine.
Acceptance is the is-ness
that you have given me from the start, to keep me afloat, to guide me, to drown
me and to make me more pragmatic. And so it was that you made it real for me in
an untold beginning – a time of unconscious believing in your unknowing
promises. It is from here where I remember vividly how you drowned me with
overwhelming uncertainties – where every breath I took was a reminder of my
fallibility – only to drag me out from beneath the waves of evanescence and
tell me that this is happening.
And so I accept
what is it that you have caused me, given me and taken from me.
When you caused it
upon me, it was a matter of choice. When you thought to give, it felt right to
take. And when you took from me, somehow I could still receive and even accept.
It is this indiscernibility
that made me see it is not truly why, but truthfully how.
It is from this
belief why you whispered how I did not want the ending to be explained, but to
be revealed.
Belonging is the
ought-ness that you left for me when things were forsaken, to steer me on, to inspire
me, to bend me and to make me more progressive. You granted me closure in an
innocent voyage – a crossing into an intense disguise of your intuitive
conviction. It is from here where I recall deeply when you showered me with a
rain of renewed restitute – where every raindrop I felt was a symbol of my
imperfection – only to cast me into the tempest of my resolve to grasp that
which ought to be mine.
And so I long
for that which ought to be your peace, your pledge and your purpose.
When you showed me
peace, I found my cause. When you unveiled your pledge, it led to the freedom
of purpose. And freed from want and need, I knew then that my yearning had been
around far too long.
It is this
imperceptibility that made me see it ought to be about when irrespectively, and not who respectively.
It is from this
certainty that I ought to know when it is not about who waits for me at the
end, but who walks there with me.
Finally, it is not
about the where but the what. It is where
intangibilities are scarcely given and as hard as you try to strip me off my
anguish, what you can only take away are the tangibles.
Because in the last
couple of days, when sadness was the
sea, what You taught me was how to swim.
